Supporting kids who have difficulty sharing and turn-taking

Why sharing is hard (especially for younger kids)

Sharing isn’t one skill—it’s a cluster of skills: waiting, tolerating “no,” understanding that a turn will come back, and coping with disappointment. For many autistic kids, sensory needs, anxiety, and rigid thinking can make the “give it up” moment feel overwhelming.

Start by teaching turn-taking, not forced sharing

Forced sharing can trigger fights and doesn’t teach the concept of a predictable cycle. Turn-taking is clearer: “my turn,” “your turn,” then “my turn again.” We recommend practicing with short, structured games using a timer or a visual.

ABA strategies that help

• Visual supports: a turn card, timer, or simple “my/your” visual.
• Short practice reps: 10–30 seconds each turn at first.
• Choice-making: let your child choose the toy or game to practice with.
• Reinforce waiting: reward calm waiting and successful turn exchanges.

What to do when a turn ends

Give a warning (“two more turns”), then follow through. Coach a replacement response (“wait,” “help,” “can I have a turn?”). If the situation escalates, shorten future turns and increase predictability. The goal is building success reps, not holding the line through a meltdown.

How to practice in real life

Practice at home first, then generalize: playground swings, tablet turns, board games, and sharing materials at school. The key is consistency—same language (“my turn/your turn”), same supports (timer/visual), and fast reinforcement for success.